How Julia Gillard came to wear Glasses

`
Once upon a time Julia glassed Kevin’s milky bar mug and became Prime Minister of all the land. Checking the glass on the wall, she found she was the reddest of them all.

Later, in parliament, she glassed Tony’s wicked woman-hating wolf-face. All around the world, half-full chardonnay glasses sung her praises.

Then, with horror, it came out that Julia had been glassing the public weal while swearing to Piggy her country matters. The people were glassy-eyed but unable to look away.

And so the god of poll-theism decreed for her punishment that she would wear her glasses on her forehead for ever more.

`

Shake Kevin

Canberra’s Sonnet 29

 When, in despair at pollies’ endless lies,
I weep for my country’s rudderless state,
And cogitate Julia’s new four eyes,
And look at the Greens, and curse our fate,
Wishing we had more than Tony Abbott,
Fearing that Craig Thomson is a disease,
And Slippery Pete too willing to jab it,
With the whole rum lot of ’em ill at ease;
Yet in the depths of this bleak Canberra sea,
Haply I think on Kevin and his state,
Like a lark sprung from a batshit belfry,
Shaking his sauce from his pigeon-toed gait;
For his Tintin cheesiness such mirth brings
That I just can’t recall the darker things.

`

Most Foul

Watching Hamlet last night I was struck by how analogous it was to our own rotten federal state.

Gillard as Queen Gertrude is a power-grasper in search of an identity, willing to glom onto whatever faction it takes to maintain her share in the crown, but with no real autonomy or ability to shape events.

Meanwhile poor disaffected Rudd-as-Hamlet wanders aimlessly but maliciously about the court, venting his bitter angst in the most startling and entertaining of ways.

The wait for either Ruddlet or the State Leadership to make a decisive move is excruciating, the court paralysed and sinking into self-infatuated despair as external forces gather apace. But we all know that in a tragedy like this there must be a final reckoning; if it be not now, yet it will come. Bloodily. And the body count will be staggering.

The Silence of the Ruddster is starting to give

Political Shelf Stacking


First we had the Happy Little Vegemite, now we’ve got the Peanut Brother.

And while the Labor larder is full to bursting with processed spreadables, hope springs eternal that there might be room for one more especially tempting condiment…

Just an ordinary Sunday at the Rudd household…

Later on, after Simon went home to his place….

And later still, in the sitting room, afternoon tea just about ready…

And much later on, after Lateline…

Faceless Men Productions presents…

An anniversary staging of the classic Gillardian tragedy “M’ Back Room”

Coming SOON to a parliament near you

 

Fitzgibbon has a lash