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Once upon a time Julia glassed Kevin’s milky bar mug and became Prime Minister of all the land. Checking the glass on the wall, she found she was the reddest of them all.

Later, in parliament, she glassed Tony’s wicked woman-hating wolf-face. All around the world, half-full chardonnay glasses sung her praises.

Then, with horror, it came out that Julia had been glassing the public weal while swearing to Piggy her country matters. The people were glassy-eyed but unable to look away.

And so the god of poll-theism decreed for her punishment that she would wear her glasses on her forehead for ever more.

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